Branden's Friendly Out of Office Assistant here, at your service.
Branden will be in and out of the office today and tomorrow, and will be traveling next week. I'm going to enjoy a few days off while the big boss man is out. Uh, I mean, I'm going to enjoy him out of the office so I can get some work done. Well, that didn't come out right either. Listen, let's make a deal. You don't tell him I said that, and I'll make sure your message is delivered to the top of the stack.
Pinky swear.
OK, now that we're past that, it's off to bet on the horseys! Who woulda thunk that Mine That Bird would take the Derby?!? AWESOME payout for me that definitely puts me UP overall. Can't gloat too much, I know my luck could change. Maybe I just go blow it all on online poker. I can bluff like the best of em.
Go check out Brando's Blog this week, he's put some explosive stuff up there again. Why can't people just research topics before they write? Branden doesn't know either, and he stops short of being a total jerk in his post. Go here: http://blogs.verisign.com/securityconvergence/.
If you have something urgent, you should reach out to XXX at YYY-YYY-YYYY, or email at ZZZ@ZZZ.ZZZ.
"Thanks, and have a security conscious day!"
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
The Baker's Dozenth
NEEEEEeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrooooooooooooooooowwwwwwww!
Branden's Friendly Out of Office Assistant here, at your service.
Branden will be out of the office today enjoying the freedom of flight. He has designed an ingenius system made of bamboo and feathers from several hundred finch (or is it finches? I NEED AN ADULT!). I've seen him giggling like a six year old that just found the candy jar that Grandma forgot to hide all week while he practices strapping the apparatus on and standing in some ridiculous pose screaming "FREEDOM FROM THE TYRANNY OF WALKING!" What a nutjob.
Anyway, while he is most likely being rushed to the hospital with a broken leg after jumping off the house with that rickety thing, I'll be answering your emails and getting them ready for Branden to answer on Monday.
OH, I forgot to tell you! I ended up betting on Kyle Busch to win, and got me some folding money! Worked out great because I'm going on a date tonight with one of the suitors on Match. Figure that I'll go for broke and take her out to Olive Garden and set her loose on the never ending pasta bowls.
I know! Classy.
While you are contemplating checking out my Match profile to be next in line for a rocking date, how about you go check out Brando's Security Convergence blog at http://blogs.verisign.com/securityconvergence/. He wants you to vote for him for some blogger award thing (http://tinyurl.com/cew7t4). Man, he's really taking this stuff too seriously.
If you have something urgent, you should reach out to XXX at YYY-YYY-YYYY, or email at ZZZ@ZZZ.ZZZ.
"Thanks, and have a security conscious day!"
Branden's Friendly Out of Office Assistant here, at your service.
Branden will be out of the office today enjoying the freedom of flight. He has designed an ingenius system made of bamboo and feathers from several hundred finch (or is it finches? I NEED AN ADULT!). I've seen him giggling like a six year old that just found the candy jar that Grandma forgot to hide all week while he practices strapping the apparatus on and standing in some ridiculous pose screaming "FREEDOM FROM THE TYRANNY OF WALKING!" What a nutjob.
Anyway, while he is most likely being rushed to the hospital with a broken leg after jumping off the house with that rickety thing, I'll be answering your emails and getting them ready for Branden to answer on Monday.
OH, I forgot to tell you! I ended up betting on Kyle Busch to win, and got me some folding money! Worked out great because I'm going on a date tonight with one of the suitors on Match. Figure that I'll go for broke and take her out to Olive Garden and set her loose on the never ending pasta bowls.
I know! Classy.
While you are contemplating checking out my Match profile to be next in line for a rocking date, how about you go check out Brando's Security Convergence blog at http://blogs.verisign.com/securityconvergence/. He wants you to vote for him for some blogger award thing (http://tinyurl.com/cew7t4). Man, he's really taking this stuff too seriously.
If you have something urgent, you should reach out to XXX at YYY-YYY-YYYY, or email at ZZZ@ZZZ.ZZZ.
"Thanks, and have a security conscious day!"
Monday, February 23, 2009
The Dozenth
It's civic duty time!
Branden's Friendly Out of Office Assistant here, at your service.
Branden will be out of the office today fulfilling his civic responsibility at Jury Duty. I watched Branden fill out the response form online, and the only time I saw him laugh during the whole process was when they asked the question, "Do you want to serve on a jury?" The possible answers were Yes and No like you would expect, but if you answered Yes, you had to say why.
I've decided to give up most of my gambling addiction, and try to find a special someone instead. My profile on Match has generated some pretty interesting candidates, so wish me luck in trying to figure out what the fudge factor is on the stats. That should keep me occupied so that I don't start making side bets with other Out of Office Assistants on who will take the Shelby 427 on Sunday. Maybe I'll bet that Jimmy "I didn't cause that wreck, he checked up" Johnson will only take out his teammates this time.
While I'm internet dating and running numbers on a spreadsheet here, how about you go check out Brando's Security Convergence blog at http://blogs.verisign.com/securityconvergence/. He really went nuts this week on the post entitled "Rolling the Dice on PCI." Especially with the "half-assed job" comment.
Anyway...
He's instructed me to tell you that if you have something urgent, you should reach him on his cell phone at XXX-XXX-XXXX and he will return it as soon as his governmental overlords allow.
Are you tired of Branden saying "Thanks, and have a security conscious day!"?
Branden's Friendly Out of Office Assistant here, at your service.
Branden will be out of the office today fulfilling his civic responsibility at Jury Duty. I watched Branden fill out the response form online, and the only time I saw him laugh during the whole process was when they asked the question, "Do you want to serve on a jury?" The possible answers were Yes and No like you would expect, but if you answered Yes, you had to say why.
I've decided to give up most of my gambling addiction, and try to find a special someone instead. My profile on Match has generated some pretty interesting candidates, so wish me luck in trying to figure out what the fudge factor is on the stats. That should keep me occupied so that I don't start making side bets with other Out of Office Assistants on who will take the Shelby 427 on Sunday. Maybe I'll bet that Jimmy "I didn't cause that wreck, he checked up" Johnson will only take out his teammates this time.
While I'm internet dating and running numbers on a spreadsheet here, how about you go check out Brando's Security Convergence blog at http://blogs.verisign.com/securityconvergence/. He really went nuts this week on the post entitled "Rolling the Dice on PCI." Especially with the "half-assed job" comment.
Anyway...
He's instructed me to tell you that if you have something urgent, you should reach him on his cell phone at XXX-XXX-XXXX and he will return it as soon as his governmental overlords allow.
Are you tired of Branden saying "Thanks, and have a security conscious day!"?
Monday, February 16, 2009
The Eleventh
Ahem... (sung to the theme from Beethoven's 9th Symphony, Ode to Joy)
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wod-MudLNPA <-- if you need some music to sing along with)
Greetings fellow netizens I will be helping you today
Branden is on holiday and he will read your note, Tuesday
I will relay, your important message, trust in me I will help you
Please don't tell him I sung this out of office message to you.
Have you read Branden's blog this week he has been rather busy
He attended QSA requalification training
He will blog some more about it when he returns from his holiday
NOW go to his blog and read it if you have not been lately
http://blogs.verisign.com/securityconvergence/
Finally (not in song), as Branden always says.... "Thanks, and have a security conscious day!"
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wod-MudLNPA <-- if you need some music to sing along with)
Greetings fellow netizens I will be helping you today
Branden is on holiday and he will read your note, Tuesday
I will relay, your important message, trust in me I will help you
Please don't tell him I sung this out of office message to you.
Have you read Branden's blog this week he has been rather busy
He attended QSA requalification training
He will blog some more about it when he returns from his holiday
NOW go to his blog and read it if you have not been lately
http://blogs.verisign.com/securityconvergence/
Finally (not in song), as Branden always says.... "Thanks, and have a security conscious day!"
Friday, January 23, 2009
The Tenth
Where's Brando?
Whipping through the air in a big metal tube (as opposed to the network of tubes that brought you this message)! He rang me up, Your Friendly Out of Office Assistant, thanks to the miracle of the Ma-Bell handheld reciever and let me know his schedule. He will be traveling all day today, and out of the office on PTO tomorrow. He's instructed me to tell you that if you have something urgent, you should reach out to XXX at YYY-YYY-YYYY, or email at ZZZ@ZZZ.ZZZ.
You DO read Branden's Security Convergence Blog, right? If not, point your browser here: http://blogs.verisign.com/securityconvergence/. Better yet, keep up with all of his crazy antics and subscribe by putting this URL in your RSS reader: http://feeds.feedburner.com/BrandenWilliamsSecurityConvergenceBlog. While you are there, you can check out his latest webcast on Beating PCI in 2009!
Finally, as Branden always says.... "Thanks, and have a security conscious day!"
Whipping through the air in a big metal tube (as opposed to the network of tubes that brought you this message)! He rang me up, Your Friendly Out of Office Assistant, thanks to the miracle of the Ma-Bell handheld reciever and let me know his schedule. He will be traveling all day today, and out of the office on PTO tomorrow. He's instructed me to tell you that if you have something urgent, you should reach out to XXX at YYY-YYY-YYYY, or email at ZZZ@ZZZ.ZZZ.
You DO read Branden's Security Convergence Blog, right? If not, point your browser here: http://blogs.verisign.com/securityconvergence/. Better yet, keep up with all of his crazy antics and subscribe by putting this URL in your RSS reader: http://feeds.feedburner.com/BrandenWilliamsSecurityConvergenceBlog. While you are there, you can check out his latest webcast on Beating PCI in 2009!
Finally, as Branden always says.... "Thanks, and have a security conscious day!"
Monday, January 19, 2009
The Ninth
It's a one day only holiday!
Yep, the powers that be gave us a holiday today, so Branden will be out of the office. He'll be back at work on Tuesday, but anywhere from five to eight hours ahead of you if you are in the contiguous forty-eight. He'll be answering your email as soon as he can.
Did you see what that knucklehead recently said about using Botnets for profit and 2009 being the year for insider threat? If not, point your browser here: http://blogs.verisign.com/securityconvergence/. Better yet, keep up with all of his crazy antics and subscribe by putting this URL in your RSS reader: http://feeds.feedburner.com/BrandenWilliamsSecurityConvergenceBlog.
Finally, as Branden always says.... "Thanks, and have a security conscious day!"
Yep, the powers that be gave us a holiday today, so Branden will be out of the office. He'll be back at work on Tuesday, but anywhere from five to eight hours ahead of you if you are in the contiguous forty-eight. He'll be answering your email as soon as he can.
Did you see what that knucklehead recently said about using Botnets for profit and 2009 being the year for insider threat? If not, point your browser here: http://blogs.verisign.com/securityconvergence/. Better yet, keep up with all of his crazy antics and subscribe by putting this URL in your RSS reader: http://feeds.feedburner.com/BrandenWilliamsSecurityConvergenceBlog.
Finally, as Branden always says.... "Thanks, and have a security conscious day!"
Monday, January 5, 2009
The Eighth
Greetings!
Branden will be out of the office for the rest of the year enjoying the holidays. He will return to work on January 5, 2009. Should you need to reach him in an emergency, you can try his cell: AAA-BBB-CCCC, otherwise, he will address your note when he returns.
In the mean time, it's Branden's friendly Out of Office Assistant here to help you. I'm so glad that I get to work during the holidays! Branden is kind of a grinch when it comes to his helpers of the electronic variety. Have you seen the new international PCI Deadlines? If not, point your browser here: http://blogs.verisign.com/securityconvergence/.
Bowl season is upon us! Maybe I'll take some of my gift cards and trade them for cash. Then I can double it on a 'sure thing' game!
Oh, and as Branden always says.... "Thanks, and have a security conscious day!"
Branden will be out of the office for the rest of the year enjoying the holidays. He will return to work on January 5, 2009. Should you need to reach him in an emergency, you can try his cell: AAA-BBB-CCCC, otherwise, he will address your note when he returns.
In the mean time, it's Branden's friendly Out of Office Assistant here to help you. I'm so glad that I get to work during the holidays! Branden is kind of a grinch when it comes to his helpers of the electronic variety. Have you seen the new international PCI Deadlines? If not, point your browser here: http://blogs.verisign.com/securityconvergence/.
Bowl season is upon us! Maybe I'll take some of my gift cards and trade them for cash. Then I can double it on a 'sure thing' game!
Oh, and as Branden always says.... "Thanks, and have a security conscious day!"
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