Tuesday, November 4, 2008

The Seventh

Greetings!

Branden will be out of the office today, no doubt gallavanting around the metroplex looking for treasure. I told him to keep an eye out for pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, and green clovers, but we'll see what happens.

In the mean time, it's Branden's friendly Out of Office Assistant here to help you. Branden will be out of the office today, returning on Monday. He's instructed me to tell you that if you have something urgent, you should reach out to XXX at YYY-YYY-YYYY, or email at ZZZ@ZZZ.ZZZ. Have you seen the new international PCI Deadlines? If not, point your browser here: http://blogs.verisign.com/securityconvergence/.

I've been pulling coins out of fountains around here, so maybe I'll be able to place a bet or two, just don't tell Branden. Cowboys to win? Not sure if I want to risk it....

Oh, and as Branden always says.... "Thanks, and have a security conscious day!"

Monday, October 27, 2008

The Sixth

Greetings fellow netizens!

Branden's friendly Out of Office Assistant here to help you. Branden will be out of the office on Monday, October 27. He'll be able to return your calls on Tuesday and Wednesday as he will be hitting the road until Thursday. He's also instructed me to tell you that if you have something urgent, you should reach out to XXX at YYY-YYY-YYYY, or email at ZZZ@ZZZ.ZZZ. Did you see his crazy posts from the PCI Europe meeting? If not, point your browser here: http://blogs.verisign.com/securityconvergence/.

So here I am, straight laced and smiling!

Oh, and as Branden always says.... "Thanks, and have a security conscious day!"

Monday, October 20, 2008

The Fifth

Hello all you gentle emailing folk!

Branden's friendly Out of Office Assistant here to help you. Branden is traveling all day back from Europe and will respond to your inquiry during normal business hours (CDT) on Friday. He's also instructed me to tell you that if you need something urgently, give XXX a call at YYY-YYY-YYYY, or email at ZZZ@ZZZ.ZZZ. He also wanted me to plug his blog, AGAIN, at http://blogs.verisign.com/securityconvergence/.

That's all. No poker, no roulette, no sports gambling, and no fun. Just me, here for you.

Oh, and as Branden always says.... "Thanks, and have a security conscious day!"

Friday, October 3, 2008

The Fourth

Greetings!

I will be out of the office today (Friday, October 3) having conversations like the one at the bottom of this email! My friendly Out of Office Assistant has been given some unpaid leave after another unfortunate incident resulting from the Internet always being plugged into his brain, and should be here to help you later in October when I am traveling abroad. Hopefully that twelve step program is working.

If you need something urgently, give XXX a call at YYY-YYY-YYYY, or email at ZZZ@ZZZ.ZZZ. If you are bored, why not check out what wacky links are in my most recent blog post (http://blogs.verisign.com/securityconvergence/)? I promise you, you won't be disappointed (and you might even be motivated to buy a hammer).

Thanks, and have a security conscious day!

*****************
"November Niner One Niner Lima Alpha, traffic is a 747 at your twelve o-clock closing fast. Expidite your climb to seven thousand, five hundred and turn left to zero-niner-zero."

"Roger Approach, expidite climb to seven thousand, five hundred, turn left to zero-niner-zero, Niner Lima Alpha."

Hrm... expidited climbing turn in a light sport plane? We better start flapping our arms.
*****************

Monday, August 25, 2008

The Third

Hey! I'm here, but not? What? How's that for a circular statement?

I'm going to be out of the office on international travel until August 25th, and I just don't trust my Out of Office Assistant after the recent gambling run. So, while he's technically sending you this message, I've got an eagle eye on his actions.

I'll be responding to emails & voicemails as I can. If you need something urgently, give XXX a call at YYY-YYY-YYYY, or email at ZZZ@ZZZ.ZZZ.

Thanks, and have a security conscious day!

Friday, August 1, 2008

The Second

Boy am I in a bind now...

Branden left again for the day and put me (Your friendly Out of Office Assistant) in charge. I've gone a little overboard on the online poker thing though, so today I'm just going to take your message diligently and make sure that Branden returns it before COB Tuesday. If you need something urgently, give XXX a call at YYY-YYY-YYYY, or email at ZZZ@ZZZ.ZZZ.

Oh, and Branden bugged me to plug his blog at http://blogs.verisign.com/securityconvergence. I don't think anyone looks at it, but there sure are some funny links there.

Maybe if things turn up and I'm feeling positive, I'll use Branden's card for some online Roulette. That can't be dangerous at all, right?

Oh yeah, and as Branden says, "Thank you, and have a security conscious day!"

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

The First

Greetings.

Look, I really don't know what I'm supposed to do right now. Branden just looked at me, The Friendly Out of Office Assistant, and said "Hey, I'm out of the office. Hold my calls." I'm at a loss because he usually gives me more information than that. To try to do my job while he is gone, I went back looking through previous messages he has asked me to send while he is out and all I see is some garbage about a message in a bottle and links to YouTube videos.

OK, here's the plan. I just searched through Branden's calendar and it says he will be back on Wednesday, July 9. I don't see any travel plans for the remainder of the week, so he will respond to you before COB on Thursday (I will make him stick to that!). If you need something urgently, give XXX a call at YYY-YYY-YYYY, or email at ZZZ@ZZZ.ZZZ.

If you just need a Branden fix, why not stop over at his blog and comment on some posts? It is at http://blogs.verisign.com/securityconvergence. It would be nice to have him approve a legit comment instead of cursing at SPAM.

In the meantime, I'm going to spend the next several days beefing up my online poker skills. Don't tell Branden. He should have never stored his credit card in Outlook.

Oh yeah, and as Branden says, "Thank you, and have a security conscious day!"